Saturday, September 3, 2011

Delhi has a Penis and Bombay has a Vagina

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The title is not meant to convey that one city is more gender specific or gender symbolic than the other; rather, I just want to point out the differences between the two cities, much like the little kid from "Kindergarten Cop" did years back.

To say that Bombay is different from Delhi is an understatement. In Delhi, nearly everyone spoke English, which made it really easy to communicate and get around.  Here in Bombay, however, most people speak Hindi and very little English.  Also, in Delhi, the temperature hovered somewhere around 70 degrees because it was winter there, which was just about perfect for Annie and me.  While in Bombay, it is the middle of winter and still close to 85-90 degrees, with 99% humidity; it is not unbearable but most of us are slowly melting as we try to acclimate to the moist environment.  

The Cows of Delhi
And finally, the last major contrast is the scarcity of cows here; in Delhi they roamed the streets and really added to the ambiance of it all, while Bombay lacks the sacred-bovine-beauties aimlessly ambling about its streets.  Not that these differences are bad, because such is not the case.  They both have a lot of different things to offer the intrepid traveler… although I am very sad to have not found one snake charmer in city of 22 million people.  My old motto is that cobras and pit-vipers make an ordinarily bland city taste great—they are like salt on your food; no meal is complete without cobras at the table blowing you kisses.

The Cows are Much Smaller in Bombay
Our plane touched down at 8:30 p.m. but by the time we got our taxi and found where the rest of the group had nested, it was two hours later and we were exhausted.  I opened the door to our cab and instantly stepped into a gutter of urine, waste, and feces—it was disgusting.  Welcome to Bombay!  The southern portion of India is where many people from around the world vacation to because of its warm temperatures and that means finding a place to stay here during the December and January months can sometimes be difficult.  

The guesthouse where our friends were staying was packed and when they tried to get us into their rooms to share for the night, the management freaked.  We offered to pay extra for the extra two people (us) who were being added to the rooms but they were adamant that we could not stay at their place.  We went round after round with them and it wasn't until Chad stepped in that we were able to convince them to let us stay for the night. The following day that we found out why.  

Stay tuned for the next exciting edition to find out why our manager freaked.... dun dun dun

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